If you have been following me for any length of time, or if you have read my story, then you know that I went through a pretty ugly divorce. It is one thing if the two of you decide that you can no longer be married to one another, but throw infidelity in there and hurt feelings and fights are multiplied exponentially. And, when you have kids, it only makes things worse. My mom once told me that she wouldn't wish divorce on her worst enemy. I completely understand what she meant.
My ex and I had a lot of fights as our marriage was disintegrating. He wanted to know every excruciating detail about everything and I wanted to shut down and not talk about anything. I do NOT like to talk about my feelings, in case you didn't know. We even tried marriage counseling, but at that point, I think it was too late for me. I had already emotionally shut down towards my ex because all I could think about was Jason. Unfortunately, I may have led him along for a while because I was so scared of pulling the trigger and actually filing for divorce. I was unwilling to let go of Jason, yet I was unwilling to split up my family. Emotionally stable, I'm not.
My ex ended up filing for divorce once he realized that we were never going to recover. After that, we had some decisions to make. He was able to enlist the aid of his parents and hired a lawyer. I didn't have that luxury and therefore, had to do everything on my own. We were able to go through our possessions and easily split everything up. I'll admit that since I felt guilty, I let him have a lot like the TV, computer, car, etc. Now we just had to decide about the kids.